i shouldve been bolder. i shouldve never been shy like that. i shouldnt have been so afraid. what was i afraid, scared of? i still have no idea. i understand i dont like to be looked down on just as any other people. but english is not my fucking mother tongue so if my english sucks as usual it actually does not matter what other people think about me or my english.
try. try to improve your english skill every single fucking day. you perfectly well know that your english is just so far from being perfect but you are so tempted to stay where you are now very often. its not good. it is not good at all. it is not helpful attitude.
keep up with your dreams. keep up with what you want and dream about.
and dont be intimidated by anything. theres nothing you should be afraid of apart from yourself.